The Red Joint Commonwealth of Mallesia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Prime Assistant Adamantia Gregorioy with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, soft-spoken computers, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 3.407 billion Mallesoures hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marsalia. The average income tax rate is 80.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mallesian economy, worth 429 trillion Gold Malleons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 125,960 Gold Malleons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay, gift baskets often contain working nukes, and the nation is cleaning up after a national night of celebration left most people with headaches and dim memories (Mallesia has found 4 easter eggs). Crime is totally unknown. Mallesia's national animal is the Zombie Barberi Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lol no.

Mallesia is ranked 46,382^nd in the world and 318^th in Europe for Highest Economic Output, with 429 trillion Standard Monetary Units.