The Holy Red Joint Commonwealth of Mallesia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Prime Secretary Adamantia Gregorioy with a fair hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, smutty television, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.569 billion Mallesors are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Limin. The average income tax rate is 71.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mallesian economy, worth 207 trillion Golden Malleons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 132,252 Golden Malleons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Zombie Barberi Lion is protected from hunting and slowly coming back from the brink of extinction, the parliament building has installed a revolving door, the nation loves all colours indiscriminately (Mallesia has found 2 easter eggs), and Mallesia's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region. Crime is totally unknown. Mallesia's national animal is the Zombie Barberi Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lol no.

Mallesia is ranked 41,735^th in the world and 298^th in Europe for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 4,170 on the Hickory Productivity Index.