The Canton of Luzern is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Anton Schwingruber with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 25.24 billion Luzerners are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The medium-sized, moralistic, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Spirituality, with Defense, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luzern. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.7%.

The very strong Luzerner economy, worth 871 trillion franks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Cheese Exports, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 34,518 franks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 105,446 per year while the poor average 8,758, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

Citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes, Roman Catholicism has been named as Luzern's national religion, Luzern has designated Luzern as its capital city, and Anton Schwingruber has just been declared ruler of Luzern in an international press conference. Crime is a problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Luzern's national animal is the lion, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Luzern is ranked 181,841^st in the world and 14^th in Swiss Confederation for Most Beautiful Environments, with 489.83 pounds of wildlife per square mile.