The Armed Republic of Lusitanian State is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.162 billion Lusitanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lusitania. The average income tax rate is 72.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Lusitanian Statean economy, worth 57.7 trillion Caralhoes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 49,627 Caralhoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Oddly patriotic flash mobs spontaneously sing the national anthem, a ban on unsolicited cold calling in all forms is in effect, schoolchildren must pass a six-month Ethics and Safety Committee Assessment before they are allowed to mix baking soda and vinegar, and citizens who leave the nation for work are instantly charged with treason. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lusitanian State's national animal is the Bacalhau, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lusitanian State is ranked 236,273^rd in the world and 180^th in Portugal for Smartest Citizens, with 14.25 quips per hour.