The Republic of Lidiomairtomtoor is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, infamous sell-swords, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 6.775 billion Lidiomairtomtoorians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 79.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Lidiomairtomtoorian economy, worth 872 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 128,771 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Residents of new housing subdivisions complain about the total absence of supermarkets and restaurants, there's nothing more gay than bleeding for your nation, the Lidiomairtomtoor City XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle, and genetic research has been halted. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lidiomairtomtoor's national animal is the Python, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Lidiomairtomtoor is ranked 21,089^th in the world and 1,523^rd in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.83 law-abiding acts per hour.