The Grand Duchy of Lexembourg is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Grand Duchess Adélaïde with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 23.167 billion Lexembourgers enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, outspoken morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ville Lexembourg. The average income tax rate is 72.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Lexembourgish economy, worth a remarkable 1,291 trillion francs a year, is highly specialized and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 55,746 francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children need to wear helmets and safety harnesses before mounting a carousel horse, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, businesses are abandoning the city centre because of the lack of transport connections, and rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lexembourg's national animal is the panthera leo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Lexembourg is ranked 149,443^rd in the world and 736^th in Europe for Highest Drug Use, scoring 51.6 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.