The United Continental Republic of Laurentrum is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Erik Kaupfmann with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, irreverence towards religion, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.649 billion Laurentians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eisenstadt. The average income tax rate is 86.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Laurentian economy, worth 291 trillion Laurels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 176,798 Laurels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Paper and ink publications are subsidised by the government to keep them in the black, most people attending churches are maintenance workers, Air Laurentrum is rumored to receive more government funding than the Laurentian Air Force, and teenagers claim that morning paper rounds are performance art. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Laurentrum's national animal is the North Laurentian Double-headed Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Vereintology.

Laurentrum is ranked 50,858^th in the world and 752^nd in The East Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 4,613.62 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.