The United Socialist States of Lancytos is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its state-planned economy, aversion to nipples, and punitive income tax rates. The quiet, industrious population of 505 million Lancytosians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eternal Icthion. The average income tax rate is 59.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Lancytosian economy, worth 26.6 trillion Crowns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is 52,739 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, foreigners with shady pasts are fleeing the country, parents dread their examinations more than their children, and signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lancytos's national animal is the White wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lancytos is ranked 80,806^th in the world and 1,989^th in The East Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 1,284.84 on the Gilded Widget Scale.