Population | 11.878 billion |
Capital | Jebus |
Leader | Noach Itamar |
Faith | Jebusite Yahwism |
Currency | shekel |
Animal | Dove |
The Holy Semitic Confederacy of Krimzen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Noach Itamar with a fair hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, triple-decker prams, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 11.878 billion Semites are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.
The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jebus. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.8%.
The frighteningly efficient Semitic economy, worth a remarkable 3,800 trillion shekels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 319,974 shekels, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,928,495 per year while the poor average 23,878, a ratio of 80.8 to 1.
Eight-year-olds with lemonade stands have been known to be locked up on charges of embezzlement, Dove is one of the most popular forenames in Krimzen, many of the poor live from cradle to grave without ever seeing sunlight, and heretic deviants are free to practice their deviance outside of Krimzen. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control. Krimzen's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jebusite Yahwism.
Krimzen is ranked 16,331st in the world and 6th in Israel for Most Stationary, with 1,742.58876668692 days.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, heretic deviants are free to practice their deviance outside of Krimzen.
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, many of the poor live from cradle to grave without ever seeing sunlight.
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, Dove is one of the most popular forenames in Krimzen.
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, eight-year-olds with lemonade stands have been known to be locked up on charges of embezzlement.
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, not even good behaviour will get transgender inmates any special perks.
- : Krimzen's influence in Israel rose from "Negotiator" to "Contender".
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, the SWAT team always rings twice.
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination.
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, a flying elephant and Noach Itamar share the same nickname.
- : Following new legislation in Krimzen, throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem.