The Empire of Koalan is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, fear of technology, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 351 million Koalas are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Koalaville. The average income tax rate is 63.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Koalanian economy, worth 15.8 trillion Cliks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 44,875 Cliks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Every workday begins with group therapy, literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts, the government blames all suspicious phenomena on flying saucers, and most of the nation's wealthy aristocrats are dentists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Koalan's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Koalan is ranked 153,710^th in the world and 12^th in Appalcadia for Most Pro-Market, scoring -79.78 on the Rand Index.