The Poblacht Chónaidhme of Kilkire is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Arthur Higgins with a fair hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, pith helmet sales, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.396 billion Kilkireans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cill-Airne. The average income tax rate is 72.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kilkirean economy, worth a remarkable 1,468 trillion Araseos a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 156,267 Araseos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Dreams of entering the Super League have been relegated to the history books, it's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves, national park visitors are reporting a rash of poison ivy sightings, and Little League matches are often attended by riot police with water cannon... just in case. Crime is totally unknown. Kilkire's national animal is the Red Deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is State Secularism.

Kilkire is ranked 15,773^rd in the world and 441^st in The East Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 8,396.42 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.