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How many Keldrosians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

By the 21st century, Keldros became one of the leading nations in science and information technology in the world. Even the poorest 10% of its population can easily afford both a smartphone and a home computer. Talking to other people on the internet is as much a national pastime as beer, bearball, and rare steaks. As such, the Keldrosian sense of humor favors the pithy one liner. Physical comedy such as pies in the face or diarrhea jokes will elicit a few chuckles. The perfect wisecrack will bring down the house. For example, this joke made the rounds in the late 2000s:

Q: What did the doctor say to the gay couple that wanted a baby?

A: "I think you two are going about this the wrong way."

Keldrosians are amused by the short-tempered and easily flustered, particularly if they lose their cool over a trifling matter. They enjoy teasing each other, both online and in person, with jokes that poke fun at each other's appearance, love life, or career. This practice is known locally as "trolling" or "breaking balls." The aim is to provoke some sort of emotional reaction from your opponent. The Keldrosian is expected to keep his temper and banter back and forth with his companion. Whoever laughs first loses the exchange. Keldrosians have developed an instinct for which subjects are fair game for trolling, which are off limits, and when to stop before genuine offense is given. They generally avoid trolling foreigners, but Caesar is famous for his epic (a slang term meaning grand, awesome, impressive) trolling of the Ambassador from Blackacre. The full transcript remains classified, but apparently it involved a discussion of Foreign Intelligence agents with codenames like Who, What, and I Don't Know. Caesar kept a perfect stone face while the Ambassador was reduced to spluttering incoherence. The Ambassador was eventually let in on the joke, whereupon he broke down in tears of laughter, and Caesar finally cracked a smile.

Keldrosians are particularly fond of memes - a picture with an amusing caption. Especially funny memes are considered "dank." An easy way to make new friends is to show them a dank meme on your phone or computer. Keldrosians take them seriously, and many of its youth are veterans of the Great Meme War of 2015-16. Rumor has it that Caesar himself was a participant in the war under various online pseudonyms. He neither confirms nor denies the rumors, but has been known to sprinkle his conversations with references that only fellow veterans would recognize such as, "Truly that was the rarest of Pepes," or, "The Trump cannot be stumped."

- Wired for Greatness: A Snapshot of Keldros in Current Year, by John "Moonman" Reynolds

The Eternal Empire of Keldros

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