The Republic of Hortonotropolis is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Barnabus Horton with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 12.499 billion Hortonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, liberal government stops and the rest of society begins, but it prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Environment, and Welfare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bradford. The average income tax rate is 86.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Hortonotropolisian economy, worth 647 trillion shillings a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration. Average income is 51,819 shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every workday begins with group therapy, pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty, X-Files ratings have hit an all-time low, and citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones. Crime is totally unknown. Hortonotropolis's national animal is the stag, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Hortonotropolis is ranked 47,959^th in the world and 2,895^th in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 74.78 law-abiding acts per hour.