The Department of Haute-Marne is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Bruno Sido with an even hand, and notable for its closed borders, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 19.993 billion Haute-Marnaises are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Spirituality, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chaumont. The average income tax rate is 11.3%.

The thriving Haute-Marnais economy, worth a remarkable 1,509 trillion francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 75,478 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

It turns out that money can buy you happiness, street preachers spend more time condemning government bureaucracy than passers-by, religious turf wars have caused frustrated police to pray for divine intervention, and bins outnumber trees in city parks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Haute-Marne's national animal is the dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Haute-Marne is ranked 186,474^th in the world and 48^th in Department Store for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring 1,296.57 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.