The Federation of Gorvania is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Yuriy Yaroshenko with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, unlimited-speed roads, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 12.293 billion Gorvans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anzhelypol. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Gorvanian economy, worth a remarkable 8,407 trillion hrovodnias a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 683,931 hrovodnias, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,358,843 per year while the poor average 6,754, a ratio of 941 to 1.

Teddy bear James Dean (aka "the Rebel Without the Claws") helps convince kids that candy cigarettes are cool, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak, business meetings across the country are interrupted by the sound of squeaking whoopee-cushions, and online tourism reviews of Gorvania are suspiciously positive and amazingly similar. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gorvania's national animal is the pig, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christian Orthodox.

Gorvania is ranked 237,869^th in the world and 68^th in Nazi Europa for Most Pacifist, with 1.63 Cheeks Turned Per Day.