The Kingdom of GoldenWolves is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Derrick Lorenzo Wolfy with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 1.726 billion Wolves are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of DarkWolves. The average income tax rate is 72.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Golden Wolfian economy, worth 76.3 trillion Gold Coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 44,213 Gold Coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation is wading into dangerous waters, history textbook pages are used as impromptu tissues by distraught students, abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, and lion-reed-vulture-hand-reed-mouth is how Derrick Lorenzo Wolfy is spelt now. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. GoldenWolves's national animal is the Black Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is GoldenWolfy The Legendary.

GoldenWolves is ranked 39,594^th in the world and 1,160^th in The East Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 42.03 quips per hour.