The Colony of Giova is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, ubiquitous missile silos, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.479 billion Giovannians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giovannia. The average income tax rate is 48.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Giovannian economy, worth 871 trillion Golden Orbs a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Tourism. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,841 Golden Orbs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Leader's family members carry literal get-out-of-jail-free cards, some of the country's most famous photographers are animals, more than one company makes the board game Monopoly, and imitation is the sincerest form of felony. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Giova's national animal is the Elephant, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Giova is ranked 73,107^th in the world and 296^th in Giovanniland for Lowest Crime Rates, with 69.6 law-abiding acts per hour.