The People's Republic of Free Laos is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Comrade D Souphanouvong with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, zero percent divorce rate, and ubiquitous missile silos. The cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.509 billion Laotians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic, socially-minded morass — prioritizes Administration, with Law & Order, Education, and Spirituality also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Red Vientiane. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient fully Lao economy, worth 513 trillion Lao kips a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 113,798 Lao kips, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The new fully Lao-made OS is buggier and more inconvenient than a horse-drawn carriage, nudity is frowned upon, the letters L, G, and B must never be grouped together, and Lady Justice has swapped her blindfold for steel-capped boots. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free Laos's national animal is the Indian elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Theravada Buddhism.

Free Laos is ranked 14,800^th in the world and 384^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 6,201.47 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.