The Republic of Flathead River is a massive, cultured nation, renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, frequent executions, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.154 billion Flathead Riverians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 78.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Flathead Riverian economy, worth 529 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 127,366 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Nothing is more offensive than being inoffensive, it's considered bigoted to assume that a violent psychopath might be dangerous, an underground group of geologists hides new discoveries to protect them from being destroyed in the name of safety, and millions of simultaneously backfiring toilets have flooded Flathead River City with effluent. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Flathead River's national animal is the NPS, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Flathead River is ranked 33,577^th in the world and 745^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Cultured, scoring 79 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.