Knowledge is Power
Highest Drug Use: 1,638thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,955thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,430th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

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Europeia Dispatch Office

Population13.62 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, absence of drug laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 13.62 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,360 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 1,955th in the world and 13th in Europeia for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 13,016.91 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Highest Drug Use: 1,638thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,955thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,430thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,562ndMost Efficient Economies: 4,081stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,238thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,687thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,731stMost Stationary: 5,032ndHighest Economic Output: 6,130thMost Cultured: 6,165thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,705thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,782ndSmartest Citizens: 7,995thNudest: 9,254thHighest Average Incomes: 9,344thLargest Gambling Industry: 9,443rdMost Influential: 10,494thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 10,923rdTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 11,256thFattest Citizens: 12,069thMost Developed: 13,939thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,583rdMost Politically Free: 15,109thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,158thMost Advanced Public Education: 16,592ndLargest Populations: 17,106thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,404thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 17,450thLargest Insurance Industry: 21,148thHighest Poor Incomes: 21,713thMost Inclusive: 22,272nd
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Politically Free: 8th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 8th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 13th in the regionMost Stationary: 14th in the regionMost Extreme: 20th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 21st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 22nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 30th in the regionNudest: 30th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 32nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 35th in the regionFattest Citizens: 40th in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 49th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 52nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 54th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 56th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 58th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 58th in the regionLargest Populations: 66th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 69th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 76th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 78th in the regionMost Armed: 78th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 85th in the regionMost Cultured: 85th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 90th in the regionRudest Citizens: 92nd in the region

National Happenings

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