The Protectorate of Eli Head Shall Be Dead is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its closed borders, rum-swilling pirates, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.479 billion Eli Head Shall Be Deadians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 8.4%.

The Eli Head Shall Be Deadian economy, worth 80.5 trillion Kuwaiti Dinars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 54,432 Kuwaiti Dinars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Mr Happy's Funland has just been named Eli Head Shall Be Dead's new capital, refugees from other nations are flocking to Eli Head Shall Be Dead's border, hotels often double as quarantine zones, and citizens are frequently held up at gunpoint by their local pizza delivery boys. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Eli Head Shall Be Dead's national animal is the Eli and everyone head on a pole, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Eli Head Shall Be Dead is ranked 140,523^rd in the world and 5^th in Coalition of Prussia for Most Authoritarian, with 750.6 milliStalins.