The Kingdom of Eestland is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, parental licensing program, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 1.668 billion Eestlandians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, moralistic government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tallinn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 44.6%.

The very strong Eestlandian economy, worth 114 trillion kroons a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 68,373 kroons, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

The average commuter spends four hours a day driving to and from work, those who cut young children are told to cut it out, advert breaks are played at lower volumes to make them easier to ignore, and all artwork is carefully screened for offensive material. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eestland's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Eestland is ranked 6,414^th in the world and 295^th in Balder for Nudest, with 1,154.75 cheeks per square mile.