The Screaming Ediface of Ebon Citadel is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emeshkyral the Incarnate with an iron fist, and notable for its state-planned economy, ban on automobiles, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 17.237 billion Ichorescent Agonarches are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The minute, socially-minded government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Seeping Vallation. Income tax is unheard of.

The enormous but sluggish Comsogyral economy, worth a remarkable 1,570 trillion Ichorous Kilderkins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is 91,118 Ichorous Kilderkins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Calling out of the blue has become taboo, solid-gold toilets are Comsogyral prisons' least expensive furnishings, the fastest growing demographic of porn viewership is twelve to seventeen, and prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population. Crime is totally unknown. Ebon Citadel's national animal is the Haematic Helminth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is ␀.

Ebon Citadel is ranked 84,912^th in the world and 1^st in The Dour Isthmus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 67.87 law-abiding acts per hour.