The Colony of Eastie is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Oliver with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, rampant corporate plagiarism, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.174 billion Eastieans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gulliver. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Eastiean economy, worth a remarkable 3,694 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 203,305 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 594,801 per year while the poor average 54,844, a ratio of 10.8 to 1.

Scenic beaches are now protected by massive concrete walls, community organizers have given up going door to door because nobody is home, fat-shaming is now public policy, and the nation's endangered species are no longer endangered. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Eastie's national animal is the tigerfish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Christianity.

Eastie is ranked 19,651^st in the world and 368^th in The East Pacific for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 2,296.99 on the Societal Mobility Rating.