The Admirable Grand Duchy of Cytadela is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Jolene Crescenzo with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 4.585 billion Cytadelans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Paeonia. The average income tax rate is 66.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cytadelan economy, worth 569 trillion Regal Notes a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 124,153 Regal Notes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries, any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property, citizens must pay to enjoy Cytadela's pristine beaches, and Cytadela has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Cytadela's national animal is the Corsican red deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cytadela is ranked 29,554^th in the world and 139^th in Europe for Highest Drug Use, scoring 102.2 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.