The Democratic Republic of Crystalbay is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Thomas Gore with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 6.094 billion Crystalbayians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crystallake. The average income tax rate is 25.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crystalbayian economy, worth a remarkable 1,134 trillion bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 186,163 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal, the default state for Crystalbay is default, constipated-looking politicians are uptight about potty mouths, and a popular Crystalbayian saying is 'wishing upon a fallen jet engine'. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Crystalbay's national animal is the beaver, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Crystalbay is ranked 289,869^th in the world and 10,883^rd in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 31.18 law-abiding acts per hour.