The Island of Crete is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, ruled by Stavros Arnaoutakis with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service. The hard-working population of 23.198 billion Cretans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government prioritizes Spirituality, although Law & Order, Defense, and Industry are also considered important. The average income tax rate is 33.2%.

The strong Cretan economy, worth 974 trillion drachmas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 42,015 drachmas, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Stavros Arnaoutakis has just been declared ruler of Crete in an international press conference, abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, the government is seen to favor Catholics, and parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crete's national animal is the dolphin.

Crete is ranked 123,411^th in the world and 4^th in Attica for Healthiest Citizens, with 1 bananas ingested per day.