The Crabby Lobster Thing 🦞 of Crawdad is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Craw the Dad with an even hand, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, soft-spoken computers, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, devout population of 4.949 billion Crawdadians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lobster. The average income tax rate is 65.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crawdadian economy, worth 572 trillion Cray Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 115,757 Cray Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Vets have been drafted in to help "fix" those who fail the parental license exam, clergy who start talking about politics are forced to take a holy vow of silence, citizens simply have to point a weapon at a government official to get what they want, and roosters that herald the rising sun are immediately sent to the slaughterhouse. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crawdad's national animal is the Crayfish and its national religion is Lobsta.

Crawdad is ranked 49,294^th in the world and 210^th in The Funian Puppet Region for Largest Governments, scoring 22.56 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.