The Disputed Territories of Contessa is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Empress Guarnaschelli with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.143 billion Contessans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Flavortown. The average income tax rate is 75.5%.

The all-consuming Contessan economy, worth 105 trillion forks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 91,954 forks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Online terrorists are automatically assigned adverts for cheap balaclavas, dining out often involves oysters on the plate no matter what you order, Empress Guarnaschelli is the self-declared God of all Contessa, and there's nothing more gay than bleeding for your nation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Contessa's national animal is the oyster, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Iron Chefism.

Contessa is ranked 66,552^nd in the world and 2,610^th in Two for Highest Average Incomes, with 91,954.35 Standard Monetary Units.