The Republic of Coltslavia is a massive, socially progressive nation, renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 2.358 billion Coltslavians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal government is primarily concerned with Healthcare, with Defense, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 17.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Coltslavian economy, worth 173 trillion deniers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 73,646 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities, a ban on robots in disguise has transformed the entertainment industry, almost half of the child population live rough on the streets, and frisbee games on college quadrangles are grounds for expulsion. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Coltslavia's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Coltslavia is ranked 36,362^nd in the world and 1,097^th in the South Pacific for Smartest Citizens, with 43.85 quips per hour.