The United Socialist Empire of Colonla is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor Alexander I with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, public floggings, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.359 billion Colonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Khanbaliq. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Colonian economy, worth 618 trillion Krulers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 262,310 Krulers, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 845,034 per year while the poor average 61,626, a ratio of 13.7 to 1.

It's entirely possible foreign diplomats misheard when Colonla offered the words "peace be upon you", popular websites like NationStates are blocked for "national security", tightly packed choir-boys sing the god-given joys of heterosexuality on public transport, and veterans' meet-ups involve a lot of tail sniffing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Colonla's national animal is the Faloth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Colonla is ranked 12,222^nd in the world and 607^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 9,773.46 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.