The Carnivorous Beefitude of Certified Male is a gargantuan, safe nation, remarkable for its state-planned economy and punitive income tax rates. The cynical population of 29.797 billion Certified Maleans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Social Policy. The average income tax rate is 57.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Certified Malean economy, worth 873 trillion stamps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, Uranium Mining, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 29,306 stamps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Certified Male's national animal is the rhino, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Certified Male is ranked 139,804^th in the world and 25^th in United States for Lowest Crime Rates, with 61.85 law-abiding acts per hour.