The Glorious Dictatorship of Caniatinciera is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Groszdsze Mylitcz with an iron fist, and renowned for its enslaved workforce, otherworldly petting zoo, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.37 billion Caniatincierans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tschatschak. The average income tax rate is 94.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Caniatincieran economy, worth a remarkable 3,738 trillion Swans a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 360,475 Swans, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,280,485 per year while the poor average 73,131, a ratio of 17.5 to 1.

The government has started a campaign to crack down on road rage and encourage alternate means of commuting, pharmacists increasingly claim they are morally obligated to take long lunches, drawing men's naughty bits isn't considered to be art, and machine-peeled candied grapes come in individual packaging for the busy commuter. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caniatinciera's national animal is the Cheems, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Chrostyianity.

Caniatinciera is ranked 235,780^th in the world and 66^th in Psychotic Dictatorships for Fattest Citizens, with 8.13 Obesity Rate.