The Constitutional Monarchy of Calponia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by King Matthew Hudson with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, public floggings, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 16.335 billion Calponians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wellington. The average income tax rate is 66.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Calponian economy, worth a remarkable 2,780 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 170,201 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Doughnut-makers claim their products are healthy because they are fortified with vitamins, deceased politicians spam the public with thousands of AI-generated voicemails, Pater Maxxmas is said to deliver self-judgment rather than silver jewellery, and animated characters are allowed to stab each other but not hold hands. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calponia's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Calponia is ranked 30,658^th in the world and 14^th in New Western Atlantic for Lowest Crime Rates, with 82.32 law-abiding acts per hour.