The Democratic Republic of Caesargrad is a huge, efficient nation, ruled by Kirill D'Angelo with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, ubiquitous missile silos, and smutty television. The compassionate, cynical population of 958 million Caesargradians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caesargrad. The average income tax rate is 86.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Caesargradian economy, worth 115 trillion rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 120,718 rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts, a large concrete wall is being built around the country's borders, clowns are being rounded up and admitted to mental institutions, and diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caesargrad's national animal is the eagle.

Caesargrad is ranked 102,081^st in the world and 1,761^st in The East Pacific for Most Stationary, with 168.32001033068 days.