The Republic of Berne is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Hans-Jürg Käser with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 21.23 billion Bernese are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bern. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.7%.

The thriving Bernese economy, worth 678 trillion franks a year, is highly specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 31,950 franks, with the richest citizens earning 8.9 times as much as the poorest.

The military is on a massive recruiting drive in advance of an invasion of Brasilistan, carpet bombing has decimated Brasilistan's landscape and population, the nation's air missiles have killed thousands of Brasilistan military personnel, and elite teams of assassins have been sent into Brasilistan. Crime is a problem. Berne's national animal is the bear and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Berne is ranked 123,202^nd in the world and 6^th in Swiss Confederation for Healthiest Citizens, with 1 bananas ingested per day.