The Armed Republic of Asplundh is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its ritual sacrifices, smutty television, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 8.583 billion Asplundhians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 28.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Asplundhian economy, worth a remarkable 1,118 trillion titty tassels a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 130,272 titty tassels, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 451,565 per year while the poor average 27,437, a ratio of 16.5 to 1.

Crop circles are intently studied by investigators with questionable merits, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets, elections are won by the candidate who makes the best 'yo mama' jokes, and children must make a homemade spinach and ricotta rotolo by high school or be held back. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Asplundh's national animal is the snake, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Asplundh is ranked 131,003^rd in the world and 1,417^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 536.8 on the Hickory Productivity Index.