The Republic of Artibonite is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working, devout population of 1.601 billion Artiboniteans are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, moralistic government is primarily concerned with Spirituality, although Law & Order and Defense are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.6%.

The very strong Artibonitean economy, worth 103 trillion gourdes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Gambling, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 64,530 gourdes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 190,179 per year while the poor average 17,229, a ratio of 11.0 to 1.

Leader's Twitcher account is typically used to share turtle memes rather than government policy, immigrants are asked to leave their cultural traditions and pride at the border, a crusade against barbaric religious practices has begun, and a major religion has been named as Artibonite's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Artibonite's national animal is the turtle, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Artibonite is ranked 19,453^rd in the world and 420^th in The North Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 5,280.91 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.