The Ginger Bull of Archie Andrews is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Archie with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory vegetarianism, infamous sell-swords, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.343 billion Muscians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Riverdale. The average income tax rate is 90.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Muscian economy, worth a remarkable 1,000 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Woodchip Exports, Furniture Restoration, Soda Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an impressive 136,307 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers, ethnic minorities are often refused admission to some of the nation's best schools, endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass, and government statisticians explain census inaccuracies by declaring that "Sith happens". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Archie Andrews's national animal is the Beaver, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pop Tate-ism.

Archie Andrews is ranked 168,053^rd in the world and 5^th in Riverdale for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 471.3 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.