The Northern Monarchy of Ampres is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by François de Clairconte with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, avant-garde cinema, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical population of 7.13 billion Ampresians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mielet. The average income tax rate is 83.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ampresian economy, worth a remarkable 1,071 trillion Amprois a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 150,336 Amprois, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Telling someone to 'break a leg' is considered a criminal inducement to self harm, the official Ampresian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, rugby players that knock each other over always stop to make sure the other fellow is okay, and increasing inclusiveness is a sign of the times. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Ampres's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ampres is ranked 21,875^th in the world and 1,489^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.22 law-abiding acts per hour.