The Syrian Arab Republic of Al-Syria is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Bashar al-Assad with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 32.437 billion Syrians enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The relatively small, liberal government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Social Policy, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Damascus. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Syrian economy, worth a remarkable 5,886 trillion Syrian Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 181,478 Syrian Pounds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 623,676 per year while the poor average 38,723, a ratio of 16.1 to 1.

Damascus's main city thoroughfare has been blocked by a row of leyland cypresses that mysteriously appeared overnight, the richest citizens live in sheltered private citadels, the country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions, and international war-crimes are good for business and business is booming. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Al-Syria's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is mainly Islam and Christianity and Druze.

Al-Syria is ranked 264,509^th in the world and 19^th in Syria for Lowest Crime Rates, with 42.2 law-abiding acts per hour.